Mad school chase

So G attended kiddyabc for like 2 months. First week, she was crying very badly. Teacher told me she cried for one hour (it's a 2 hour playgroup) and then fell asleep. Anyway, to cut the long story short, we decided to change school because I observed quite a lot of unpleasant / unsatisfactory stuff amidst the Teacher scolding G and was not gentle and patient towards her.

And I visited:

1. Raffles House Preschool
2. NurtureStars
3. Liz Montessori
4. Startots Playgroup
5. Jessin Kindergarten
6. Creativo Learners
7. Wesley Child Development Center
8. Ykidz Montessori
9. Mindchamps Toa Payoh
10. Young Talents Preschool

And even checked out information on some preschools in Novena and Bishan.

And I also called and checked on Toa Payoh Methodist Kindergarten and Marymount Kindergarten for 2014 intake. Both registration are in May. And some of my mommy friends already secured a place for 2014! Incredible.

I was desperately searching, comparing and researching online reviews as well. All so because I could go and complete my certification. It was long overdue. I postponed it since G was 6 months old. And I thought she is ready for school. Apparently not so.

My mom was blaming me all the time for putting her to school this early and causing so much trauma to her. Yes, she had lots of nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night for milk, mommy and daddy and even became less sociable, more wary. (I said she used to sleep through right? Well, now she sometimes wakes up once around 4 or 5 am)

It has been tough on her. I decided to stop school for another 2 months before we put her in the new school again.

These 2 months, we spent lots of bonding time together. I always assure her that I love her even though she may not get to see me for a short while (like when grandma brings her out to the playground to play and I do housework at home). And that separation is only for a short while.

Reading time: she is now able to take books out herself and just flip to look at the pictures.

Sometimes she does roleplay and read the story to her students/children.

I made a nice and neat corner for her to do her Montessori play. 

Teaching her to take one tray at a time to work on and to return before taking the next tray.

Finally we managed to make the backlight work :)

Science experiment: Volcano Eruption 

Oh yes, the new school. I've paid deposit. $500 per month for every Mon, Wed and Fri 2.5 hour playschool. She's going to start next week. *pray hard all will be well* 

Teacher said once she settles well, we'll change to Mon to Fri daily 2.5 hours. Fees will then be $600. It's really quite high with no subsidy. Her 'enrichment classes' in the afternoon at Blue House, Shichida and Kindermusik will have to ceased because we really cannot afford them anymore. 

There are like 10 things on my mind at the same time (business, Perth trip, G's birthday plans, am I ready for #2, my certification course, my short term goals etc) last night and I couldn't sleep till 1 am. Then with her waking for milk at 4 am (I finally slept at 5 am) and then it's her wake up time at 7 am. I barely sleep much lately whether weekdays or weekends.

Anyway let's hope that this new school is for good. At least from now till the end of the year.

17 months old preschool

She will be going for a 2.5 hours playgroup everyday next month. 

She will be just 17 months old but the teacher said that she seemed more mature and can be independent, so she accepted G even though they have to be a minimum age of 18 months. G will be the youngest in class. 

School fees is about $200 per month.

Sleep

Did you read today's Straits Times on "Not Enough Sleep?" at the Home Section? omg. I am so glad that they published this saying that Singaporean kids are not sleeping enough. Source was from National Sleep Foundation somemore. Good la.

I really really cannot emphasis how important sleep is. I am SO MUCH happier now that my gal can sleep 12 hours at night and I can sleep very well and have my personal time too. When I say 12 hours, it really means so with no milk at all. Occasionally she might wake from a bad dream/noise, cry for 3-5 minutes (ok max 10 mins) and she settles herself back to sleep without my help. Or she woke up due to a loud thunderstorm, play with her toes for 5 minutes and settles herself to sleep without crying.

Straits Times 20 April 2012

From Babycenter website

It used to be so bad previously. She would wake 4-7 times at night screaming away even with feeding milk. And I am always sulky and in a bad mood most of the time that my fil asked me to go back to work (I stay with my in-laws and that makes sleep training all the more difficult but I shan't go to that in this post). I am so so so so glad that I bought the sleep package and read the book on "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth". Going to share some excerpts from the book with you.

Elisabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution, advises sticking with what works: “If your child is getting enough sleep, you are all sleeping well, and the people who live in your home are happy with the way things are working out, then nothing needs to be fixed, regardless of what anyone else has to say about your family’s sleeping situation.”


One last excerpt that is not very pleasant but very true for me (earlier post was betw me and my mom's quarrel, will not go into my in-law's story).

http://singaporemotherhood.com/articles/2012/04/sleep-and-your-young-ones/

Well, I have come so far. I will protect her sleep at all cost.

The problem with grandparents

I was in the shower. Baby was in the playpen crying herself to sleep. Suddenly there was silence. I came out of the bathroom and saw my mom carrying her.

Well, I purposely went for a shower when she is crying. The idea is for her to learn to fall asleep on her own and there is absolutely nothing for me to do. She is now at Day 20 of her training and there is no limit to how long she cries and I will not pick her up.

From 40 mins of crying, it has been reduced to 30 mins, 25 mins, 15 mins and currently anything between 5 - 10 mins before she can soothe herself to sleep. My mom carried her at the 9th minute for goodness sake.

Anyway, I shouted at my mom and I banged the cupboard. Baby was back in the playpen crying EVEN HARDER this time and EVEN LONGER while me and my mom were outside; in the living room. This is the first time I shouted at my mom in my life. I have never ever reacted in such a way towards her.

I told her "If you are the one taking care of baby at night, I won't bother how you want to carry her, rock her to the sky. But I am the one waking up 7 times last time [and now just once at most and crying for 5 mins and she can soothe herself back to sleep] so please do it my way".

She is really mad at me and she left after saying "I don't understand you." And then cold war with me for 3 days and counting. I sent a message saying sorry that I was rude .... within an hour after she left and also two other smses but till date no reply.

I have never been this sure that I am doing the right thing. Because I did my confinement at her place, I failed at breastfeeding. This time I am determined to do what I want for my child (assertively).

Just so, I happened to meet a mommy downstairs at my void deck. I got to know her in-laws first, who happened to be my neighbour. She has two girls Keston 24 months and Megan 11 months old. She shared with me that she quarrelled with her mom numerous times because of sleep training too. I asked her how long did Keston cry last time. She told me 'An hour plus of crying and struggling'. That time Keston was sleep trained when she was 14 months. Her mom couldn't understand either.

I suppose there are lots of differences in terms of her view and her in-laws and mom's views. That's why even though they both are healthy and strong, she quit her job and choose to be a stay-at-home mom to take care of her two girls herself (with a maid).

There is another grandpa who would bring his 18 months old grandson downstairs. So usually the four children will play together at 4.30 pm (before dinnertime). He told me that his daughter-in-law is quitting his grandson of his pacifier but he cried and cried so badly. So whenever he is at his place, he will secretly give him the pacifier to sleep -_-|| I just kept quiet.

Oh no... grandparents :(


Back to the sleep training - Gracel woke up 4 times at night yelling away for 40-45 minutes. She thought grandma is coming to carry her. Poor baby. I have to re-train all over again.

Handling the Guilt

This blog says it ALL.

http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-support/handling-the-guilt/

I really almost wanted to suggest that my hubby and I to shift to the living room to sleep in order to let my baby have our room to herself. But I guess no need to create extra tension with him and the folks. I also felt like asking the maid to go and sleep in the living room as an alternative so that my baby can get hers. But I guess I don't want to upset the folks.

I also don't mind putting my baby in the living room too. But I suppose that doesn't work because my folks and the maid wake up around 4.30 am every morning.

I can't possibly put my baby outside the corridor I guess, with neighbours complaining and police coming to investigate and all that.

Well, I really think it's time to have a place of our own. Fast.

Sleep Training

Day One
1st nap - 1 hour 40 minutes, no crying
2nd nap - 45 mins, 5 minutes crying
3rd nap - 45 mins, 10 minutes cry to sleep, awaken by sound
Slept at 7 pm. Woke up crying at 7.25 pm. Cried for 35 minutes non stop.
Woke up at 1 am in crawl position.
Woke up crying at 5 am even when I pat her. Cried for 10 mins.
Woke up at 6.50 am because mommy was brushing teeth (sound)

Day Two
1st nap - 1 hr 25 mins, no crying
2nd nap - 1 hr 40 mins, cried for 3 mins, stare into space, cried on off 10 mins
3rd nap - 25 mins (I woke her cos it was 5 pm)
Slept at 7.10 pm after crying for 5 mins
Woke up crying at 5.45 am. Didn't fuss. Played with toes and slept on.
Woke up at 6.55 am

Day Three
1st nap - 45 mins, cried on and off.
2nd nap - 1 hr 15 mins, cried for 25 mins on off.
3rd nap - 35 mins
Woke up crying once and slept.
Woke up at 6.20 am

Day Four
1st nap - 1 hr 5 mins, slept on her own
2nd nap - 1 hr 30 mins, cried for 5 mins on off.
3rd nap - 35 mins. Talking to herself and then fall asleep
Woke up at 1 am, 6 am. On off crying.
Woke up at 6.50 am

Day Five
1st nap - 30 mins then cried for 25 mins on off and slept for 45 mins
2nd nap - 1 hr 40 mins
no 3rd nap (can't sleep from 4 pm - 4.30 pm)
Woke up at 3.30 am, played on her own and sleep.
Woke up at 6 am, cried on off. 


Day Six
1st nap - 1 hr 5 mins, cried for 1 minute
2nd nap - 1 hr 25 mins, cried on off
3rd nap - 40 mins,  cried on off
Woke up at 4 am and cry.
Woke up at 6.20 am

Day Seven
1st nap - 40 mins (didn't sleep much, played herself)
2nd nap - 1 hr 35 mins
3rd nap - 30 mins
Woke up at 4 am and cry.
Woke up at 6.25 am

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I think the sleep plan works. So all along my baby is cranky because of 2 things. Lack of sleep and doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own. In order to help her, a nap schedule and standard bedtime routine is needed. Slowly reduce and eventually eliminate the rocking, patting, swaying, carrying etc cos she needs to sleep on her own. Even when she wakes up from noise/dreams, she needs to learn how to soothe herself to sleep again.

I would say that so far so good. I am confident that she can sleep from 7 pm to 6 am now without feeding milk, without waking too much (so far only once - but she didn't cry much or scream or yell.) I am so surprised that she could play with her toes and bolster and then fall back to sleep herself.

In fact, yesterday I sneaked out at 8 pm to celebrate a friend's birthday. I reached home at 10.15 pm and she didn't move an inch. Slept like a log.

I hope that it gets easier from now on.

My mom has been "complaining" that she sleeps too much and cannot play with her like last time and has such a strict timetable. But seriously I think I want my baby to have enough rest and sleep for now. And I've never been as proud as a mommy as now.

Baby Sleep Site

http://www.babysleepsite.com/

Mommy is SOOO desperate already. I bought a S$120 customised sleep plan package for baby.