3 months old baby

Baby will be 3 months old by the end of this week. It's been tough being a stay-at-home-alone-mom (SAHAM). From not being able to eat breakfast at all, to having cold lunch at 3 pm and dinner almost 10 pm, to having only 4-5 hours of accumulated sleep in a day and at the same time keeping up with good deals and sprees by the mommies group, and also most importantly, building my supply and trying my best to relactate, I AM STILL SURVIVING. In fact, I am proud of myself to have come this far.

These few months, due to the lack of rest, I fell ill for 3 days and then passed the virus to baby and she had fever for 1 day. Contrary to what my family members think, I would like to believe that it's my breastmilk that makes her recover faster. Yes, my cranky baby didn't make me give up breastfeeding. When lots of mommies been sharing about their dip in milk, mine has increased.

I have close to 70 ml now :)

I feel that working life is easier and less stressful compared to a SAHAM. I am very stressed up when my PIL are back home coz they cannot stand baby crying, probably not even 'eh eh eh'. It's difficult cos I have to drop the pump and attend to baby. I have to carry and quiet her in the shortest possible time.  I have to give pacifier earlier. I have to feed when I would have waited 30 mins more if I were home alone.

In general, mommies can't wait for babies to outgrow this stage, and wish for a magical wand to turn them into 1 year old straight away. But if I can turn back time, I will choose to go back to the day of my delivery. I dun mind going through the contractions, show, waterbag leaking, labour pain and all that all over again just to correct what I did wrong, or should I say, not do right. I mean it. However, in reality, there's no turning back and we can only move on.

I  have high expectations of myself and seriously, buying all those supplements of fenugreek, motherlove blend, domperidone, anmum lacta and multivits for breastfeeding cost alot of money.

Alot of ppl say 'chin chai chi, chin chai dua'. To me there is no such thing. Even the formula milk selection, I can stand for 30 mins to check and analyse the ingredients. I almost wanted to take picture of every brand and compare the ingredients back home.

Anyway enough of the lengthiness, I just wanted to give myself a pat on the back. I have done well and I am doing the best I can. All the sleepless nights magically doesn't matter when I see baby's big grin in the morning.

Track baby's development

http://www.happybabydiary.com.au

Something extra

Looking at some of the mommies' maternity shots (from LittleMissRabbit, Studioloft) , I also feel like doing it. I was thinking about it some time ago but decided not to (for now). Maybe I'll do it for my #2 baby. I realised that I have been overspending for #1 baby. New clothes, new pram, new toys, everything new. Definitely for #2, these things can be passed down and that will free me up financially.

Papa said that he wants to do the footprints and handprints thing for baby and he will be paying for it. The standard package for hand and foot imprints is $345. Very expensive indeed.

And I'll be paying for baby's newborn photography with Kelly Soon. $500. I really like Kelly's skills.

Dreamt about my grandpa

Last night I dreamt about my late grandpa. We were back at our 23A terrace house. Grandpa was lying on the ground in his room. I walked in and called out to him but he didn't respond. I don't know why I went to take a photo of him lying on the floor and then called my sister in. Together, we both held him up and manage to let him sit on a chair. His eyes were opened and looking at one direction. My sister and I were not scared but rather, we were worried, wondering what's wrong with him. Then grandpa turned to me and said in Mandarin “现在有孩子了, 你要照顾好自己”. He said it very clearly to me and I woke up from my dream immediately.

Dear 啊公
谢谢你的关心，我会的。
等宝宝大一点，我会带她来给你看。你也要照顾好自己哦。

Suddenly I realized that I don’t even have a photo of my grandpa. We didn’t even take any pictures with him during Chinese New Year all these years (though we did take with my grandma). I really regretted this. Rest in peace grandpa. I still think of you occasionally and often have dreams that we were living together in the 23A house.

My MIL and FIL's condition

My parents just returned from HK and Guangzhou. They've been away for about 10 days. Mom bought lots of things for baby in Guangzhou. Dad told me that she can't stop buying. See the pic? Thanks mom and dad.

Things at home have not been pleasant (I'm staying with my in-laws FYI). FIL is disorientated after his discharge from the hospital and he will be undergoing therapy to treat his mild stroke. Hopefully he can get well again. He has been very worried for the dementia MIL. That day MIL was at the hospital. Both of them were emotional and FIL cried in front of us.

I feel quite helpless during this time that I can't do much at home. I can't really help with housework like mopping the floor or washing the toilets. I also have to work and can't be staying at home to watch over them. Hubby is very stressed out both at work and at home. I've never seen him that stressed before. The tension at home seems to be building up everyday. Hubby and I had a tiff over a discussion and I apologised with tears in my eyes saying that I'm sorry for being pregnant now.

I have also asked the maid to do lesser household chores eg mopping the floor every 2 days instead of everyday, just so that she can keep a lookout for both the folks. I think I will also do my own laundry (+ Hubby's) so that I can help out as best as I can (as long as I'm not carrying heavy stuff).

The atmosphere at home is pretty negative. I don't know what else to do except to pray, hoping that things will get better.



This morning when I walked to the mrt, I felt a sharp pain at my right abdomen. It hurts even when I'm standing. I only feel better if I'm sitting down but as usual, no one gives up seat at public transport anymore. Out of my 26 weeks of pregnancy, I was offered a seat twice. The rest of the time, I stand all the way to work and from work. (I work everyday fr Mon - Fri) Anyway, I am not sure if it's baby pressing against my sides. There are a few occasions that I felt the sharp pain but I always endure it away.

Baby is most active at night about 8 pm onwards. At times when I sleep, she kicks me. Perhaps to remind me to wake up and pee. She is sometimes active in the day but I probably notice her movements lesser because I'm occupied at work.

This is my going 26 weeks tummy. 

Belly button looks like almost gonna pop out.